ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
