So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
