I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
