1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
