Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
