I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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