You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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