if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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