It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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