Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
it's like heaven, but drunker
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
