Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
