talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
