Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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