He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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