I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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