I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
