dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
