remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
