did you get engaged???
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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