dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
