So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
