So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
