But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i've created a new STD.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
