let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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