I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize