My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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