Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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