Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We smell like vodka and hangover
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