I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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