a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
