Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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