I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
