Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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