i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
