I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
