what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
