bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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