I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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