they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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