he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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