I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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