they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
