Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You're like the curious george of whores
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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