Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
