woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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