all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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