I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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