I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
