he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He did a backflip because drugs
there is puke in my bra ... again
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize