he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
