it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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