I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You pole danced in your parka.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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