therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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