I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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