Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
