This is not my ceiling
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
