When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
