no you cant smoke seaweed
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
