Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
