My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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