he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
