I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
