i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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