he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
