pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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